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I can only hope to keep a beginner’s mind
to withhold nothing but my expectations,
suspending my beliefs for a brief while
so that I may be in this experience
for what it is without wanting to change it.
For if I always had a beginner’s mind
then there would be no need for a concept of
limited time, compare and contrast, or analysis.
No such concepts or ideas could exist,
because there is nothing that exists prior to
this experience even worth to compare.
So maybe I can go way back
like it’s the first crawl on my hands and knees
wiggling around with anticipation.
Looking, listening, and feeling each movement
following the next utilizing no tools but
only a deep seated curiosity in seeing
how this puzzle piece of a body, a mind, and soul
can fit effortlessly together.
Maybe I can touch and allow the healing of another
with deep appreciation that this body in my hands
will never, has never, nor could ever be like any other.
Therefore it will heal like no other.
It has more capabilities and possibilities to heal
like none other.
Perhaps the more I sit and surrender to these unknowing ways,
getting out of the way,
the healing will be allowed to do it’s part.
It is only then when I will have permission to do my part
that which I am still figuring out with each touch.
Always reaching for ground zero rather than looking elsewhere.
Yet at the same time flying high to see the wide perspective.
With this beginner’s mind I can explore the curiosities
of sensation through tenderness, compassion, kindness,
eroticism, playfulness, gentleness, passion, and all those
experiences of movement I take for granted.
May I appreciate one moment and then regard it as a daily
and equally unique happening in another.
I think of the moments of the imbalances where those touched
need to touch more often
and the one’s touching need to be more touched by others.
I think of how we need to hug ourselves more, lay a gentle
hand on an elder, and embrace our children, each others’ children.
I hope when these moments come
I receive and give them with gratitude.
A new freshness, quiet solitude, and cozy feeling
settles in my heart on these first days of the new year.
These thoughts of letting go, letting in, accepting,
and reflection are within many people’s minds.
Yet for me the only thing I wish is to have is a beginner’s mind
every day as a healer, teacher, friend, daughter, lover, and woman.
And through this I enter into happiness.